Something fishy going on

The first of the brown trout emails.

To: Irish Wildlife Trust, Irish fisheries, etc (Subject: Large Brown Trout)

Hiya,

I’m not really sure if you can help me but yours was the first website that popped up when I Googled my predicament. You see after spending the morning in town I came home this afternoon to find a large brown trout in my down stairs toilet! I know! I was a shocked as you are now. I have my suspicions as to how it got there and will quiz both my sons when I catch up with them but I am more concerned at the moment as how best get rid of it.

I’ve already tried to flush multiple times, you know the big flushes where you pull down hard on the handle, but to no avail. I’ve even got the brush to it, to help it on its way, but again to no avail.

As you can understand there is some urgency to my predicament and I would be hugely grateful if you could advise me on how to proceed.

Yours etc
Kerry-Anne Fitzmaurice

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Is that an art installation…or is it a piece of shit?

I recently had an urgent need to drop the Cosbys off at the pool in the Smithfield area and with no MacDonalds in the area to go for a MacPoo i had to look for alternatives.  The handiest as it turned out was The Lighthouse cinema and i must say it was a rather arty, and farty it has to be said, affair!

To:  The Lighthouse Cinema Dublin

Hi,

I was in you’re great cinema about a week ago to see Das Weisse Band, a great if disturbing movie, but that’s not why I’m writing to you. I had a little time to spare before the movie started so i decided to have a look at some of the art installations you had on display.

I’m not sure what the overall theme of the installations was but i did enjoy browsing through the various pieces when i came across a rather striking piece on the very bottom floor to the right of the stairs through what looked like a hidden door. It kinda stool out from the rest of the installations in so far as it wasn’t a painting and it seem to be housed in little room of its own. The piece had a label over it which read ‘Die Bachforelle’ so i immediately presume it had some connection to the Das Weisse Band movie.

Anyway, im writing to see if you could provide some more informatin on the piece as the label didnt have an artists name on it and Google so far has been of little help. Any information you could give would be great as i really liked the piece and would love to find out more about the artist.

Thanking you in advance
MM O’C

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